Activities That Teach Respect

This month's PACE character trait is Respect.  With school starting, it's the perfect time of the year to talk to your children about how to put their best foot forward when meeting their new teachers and classmates.  Here are some activities (from eHow.com) to help you teach respect at home:

Explain Why Manners Are Important

When teaching your children manners, explain why the desired behavior is so important.  For example, explain that thanking someone for a gift shows how much we appreciate the thought, time and money that went into choosing and purchasing the gift.  A child needs to hear that we look people in the eye when they speak to us to show that we are respectful listeners, and we don't interrupt.  Don't assume your children will naturally know these things without being told.

 

Household Rules

In their book "Teaching Your Children Values," co-authors Richard and Linda Eyre say, "Extend respect and then expect respect." Establish household rules, the same way teachers do in a classroom, so that your children know what behavior is expected of them. When sibling quarrels escalate, gently warn your children that they are beginning to show each other disrespect. When you see your children showing respect for another person, compliment them.

Real Life Teachable Moments

Because children learn so much through experience, take the opportunity to have a discussion with your child when you see someone acting either very respectfully or very disrespectfully. If you encounter a disrespectful individual when your child is with you, resist the urge to respond in anger. According to the U.S. Department of Education, "our examples of good behavior can teach our children to take the high road when other roads look tempting."

Role Play

Role playing is a wonderful way to demonstrate a concept for elementary-aged children. Role play a disagreement between two people, so your children learn that they can disagree without disrespecting. If your child has a birthday party coming up, role play with him how he will greet his guests and thank them for his gifts.

Read About Respect

When reading to your child, choose titles that demonstrate characters learning about and showing respect.  Recommend such titles to your children who read independently.  Some titles to explore are "Dragonfly's Tale," by Kristina Rodanas (Gr. K-2); "Through Grandpa's Eyes," by Patricia Maclachlan (Gr. 3-4); and "The Cay," by Theodore Taylor (Gr. 5-6).  Your public library's children's librarian or school librarian can suggest new titles to you that deal with the theme of respect.

Teaching Generosity at Home

The PACE Character Trait of the month is Generosity.  This article by Dr. Robyn Silverman outlines some ways to teach generosity to children.  They include:

Request that your children pick out one item each at the grocery store to contribute to the local food pantry.

Direct your children to set aside a certain percentage of their allowance, job money, or money that came through gifts for the purpose of giving to charity. Then help them choose a charity that is meaningful to them.

Visit an assisted living facility or a nursing home so that your children can sing songs, play games, and read with the seniors there.

After every other season, have a “closet day” in which your children spend some time going through their closet and bagging up the things that are too small or unused. Then drive them to the drop off center or charity and allow them to contribute their donations.

Invite someone who doesn’t have family nearby to share a meal or come over for a movie. You wouldn’t believe how grateful they will be just to feel included.

Encourage your children to call elderly family members—even extended family members– just to say hello, tell them what’s new, and ask them what they’re up to these days. A simple call can make someone’s day.

Ensure that your children send out thank you cards. If they’re very young, have them sign them in their own way—either with their name, a drawing, or decorative stickers.

Read books that illustrate the power of giving. Talk about the characters with your children and ask them how each character showed generosity of spirit. What did they admire?

Whenever you give your time, talent, thanks, or treasures to others, let your children know how good it makes you feel, how it helps others, and why you do it. When they see and hear about you doing it, it will be more natural for them to do it as well. It will simply be “something your family does.”

Refrain from giving material rewards for giving generously. It’s counter intuitive to reward a child for giving by giving him or her money or more toys. Generosity should be tied to internal gratification not external motivators.

Before your child’s birthday or birthday party, ask him or her which toys she can contribute to others. If s/he receives 10 new gifts, are their 10 toys or games from her current stash that she can donate to someone in need?

Nip selfishness in the bud. Many parents reward tantrums by giving toys and treats to their children. This breeds more selfishness.

Let your children know when you see a great example of generosity among them or their friends. Praise the person who showed the generosity in front of your children as well as privately.

Each day ask what the family is grateful for and how they showed generosity. This can become part of your routine at dinner time or before bed.